btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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