Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize