Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize