The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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