It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
