Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
