i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
