i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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