I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
