sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have demons in me.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
