I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
