their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize