:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.