did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Your penis caused this!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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