so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
