is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize