How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Who died my cat blue again?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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