Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
