Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i already hear my dad disowning me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
