at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
