why didn't you poke me back
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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