the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
