Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
