Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
