Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
