I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm really busy with my period
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