dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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