at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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