The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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