She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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