I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
