i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
