Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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