bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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