just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize