why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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