You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Randomize
