don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
