My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize