I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
