Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
