Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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