I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
