when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
