I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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