What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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