I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
