If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
where am i from again
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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