Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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