I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
