last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
