SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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